Sunday, December 2, 2012

My confession

I was talking to my roommate tonight about something that happened on Friday night. So Friday was my graduation day. I completed a peroperative nursing certificate and a group of us went out to celebrate. We were at dinner and I, true to my strict Paleo obedience, ordered ribs and vegetables. I'm not sure exactly, but I guess it was the half bottle of wine and excitement from the day, that possessed me to grab a piece of garlic bread and eat it.

I put that piece of garlic bread in my mouth and I (vaguely) remember being in complete bliss. I'm pretty sure I had my eyes closed as I was eating that buttery piece of bread. It tasted like heaven would. Everyone at the table was shocked to see me eat a piece of bread, and to be honest, I am still shocked by the whole thing.

So it's now two days later, and I am still really stressed out by this whole thing. I feel like I betrayed myself. I feel angry with myself. But I also feel like why can't I just get over it. You ate a piece of bread. So what.

Unfortunately, I'm very hard on myself to the point of a bit obsessive compulsive. Usually, no matter how many glasses of wine I have, I still maintain my Paleo rules. I will generally eat a bunch of almonds, buy some beef jerky, or eat some frozen peaches.

I guess I needed to get this off of my chest. I need to confess my indiscretion, but I also need to learn to allow flaws in myself.

Thanks for listening.

Azin


2 comments:

  1. Gurl, hang in there-- I've been doing this 2 years and I still cheat like a mofo. I have tacos AT LEAST once a week (corn tortillas which HAVE to be less bad for me than flour, right??)-- I shouldn't be ok with fabulous cheats regularly, but I am. Because it's a diet and a lifestyle, NOT a religion. Hang in there, be good to yourself. I may have accidentally double-posted.

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  2. Thanks :) I feel silly about the whole thing. It helps to get it out there.

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