I was talking to my roommate tonight about something that happened on Friday night. So Friday was my graduation day. I completed a peroperative nursing certificate and a group of us went out to celebrate. We were at dinner and I, true to my strict Paleo obedience, ordered ribs and vegetables. I'm not sure exactly, but I guess it was the half bottle of wine and excitement from the day, that possessed me to grab a piece of garlic bread and eat it.
I put that piece of garlic bread in my mouth and I (vaguely) remember being in complete bliss. I'm pretty sure I had my eyes closed as I was eating that buttery piece of bread. It tasted like heaven would. Everyone at the table was shocked to see me eat a piece of bread, and to be honest, I am still shocked by the whole thing.
So it's now two days later, and I am still really stressed out by this whole thing. I feel like I betrayed myself. I feel angry with myself. But I also feel like why can't I just get over it. You ate a piece of bread. So what.
Unfortunately, I'm very hard on myself to the point of a bit obsessive compulsive. Usually, no matter how many glasses of wine I have, I still maintain my Paleo rules. I will generally eat a bunch of almonds, buy some beef jerky, or eat some frozen peaches.
I guess I needed to get this off of my chest. I need to confess my indiscretion, but I also need to learn to allow flaws in myself.
Thanks for listening.