Monday, March 17, 2014

Nobody Said It Would Be Easy, But Some Things Make It a Little Easier.

It's possible that my mind is completely all over the place, and it's also possible that my life is all over the place. It seems like as soon as I have something figured out, something else completely falls out of place. Don't get me wrong. My life is far from "hard" in the typical sense, but how you perceive your life is totally subjective. And lately, mine feels "hard".

I guess my parents were right. I remember in high school when I was studying for Provincial Exams, my mom told me "Azin, life is not easy". But I thought of course you're saying that mom, you had to immigrate to Canada in your twenties from a third world country?! How can you even know what I'm going through. And honestly, saying that out loud sounds absolutely ridiculous.

How can I think my life is hard? How is it not easy? I've had everything I ever needed to build a great life for myself. So what gives?

I feel like I've had a huge focus for the past several years on my career and opportunities to create something for myself. I am doing the job that I've always wanted to do. And I am starting a project that I am really passionate about. I have so many ideas going on in my head that sometimes it's hard just to fall asleep at night. I've started to write things down because it helps me release the ideas and fall asleep. I can't really talk about the ideas because some of them are secrets, but lets just say I have a lot more work to do.

So my professional life is well developed, but what about my personal life? I feel kind of behind in that area. Like my brain has big juicy neurons for my work, but my neurons are small and pathetic in other senses. Poor little brain.

But it's okay. Because my mom warned me that life wouldn't be easy. So that's why I do things that make it a little bit easier.

1. Coffee

I am completely absolutely hands down addicted to coffee. It's the reason I get out of bed in the morning and the reason I go to bed at night. And if it gives me this much joy and pleasure, then I sure as hell don't feel bad about it.

2. Food

There are some foods that make me so happy that I'm gitty. These foods include cashews, almonds, bacon, pork belly, grilled onions, dried figs and eggs. Once again, if a food can give me so much pleasure, then so be it. Get in my belly you delicious perfect little cashews.

3. Love

For me love is big. I love my friends. I love my family. I love my mom so much it's weird. She doesn't know how obsessed I am with her. I want to be her so bad. I love my apartment. I love my roommate. She also doesn't know how much I love her. It would weird her out. I love running. I love walking. I love scarves. I love being hot. I love saunas. I love massages. I love foot massages. I love my hair. I love doing my makeup. I love facials. I love moisturizers. And god I love oils.

So really. What I love is what I love. And they just make it a little bit easier. And I love them for that.

Mom, you told me that life isn't easy. But you never told me I could make it easier by finding things that I love, and doing them when life is tough. But I still love you, even though you probably could have mentioned that ;)


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